Thomas Pattison

Thomas was born on the 19th of october 1994, due to premature birth at 5 months old , they couldnt find what was wrong with him which makes me more sad of to why this happened , i guess natures way they say?. he has three siblins george was his older brother 14 elle 9 and isabelle 2 and harf, . hes never far from my thoughts and every year that goes by i know its one step closer to meeting him in heaven.

my storie.
I was 21 living on my own with my 1 year old son, i met a man who was thomas, dad and saw him for 6months on and off, and got pregnant with thomas, i was scared to tell my mum and dad as i tend to make lots of mistakes and knew that this would be a anouther foolish thing i done. The weeks went by one by one and soon was being sick and feeling down as only my sister and best friend knew and of course thomas dad not that he cared , he didnt see me the hole 5 months of my pregnancey , sson i was having my 4month scan and saw thomas for the first time i knew he was a boy then, he was fine every thing was where it should hav been, i was told to wait for my 5 month scan, so i could find out the sex then, i was happy and couldnt beleave this was all real as i kept to myself for so long. Then one night i started to get bad belly pains and thought it must be growing baby pains, the next day passed and more pains with alittle brown discharge, but again thought it was not much to worrie about, but the pains got worse and my sis advised to go doctors where my proper doctor was away so i had to see anouther one, when i told him my simptons he just sat in the chair as if he didnt know what to do? he didnt even check for a heartbeat.
The nextday passed with such bad pains but i was still acting like nothing was wrong . It was thursday eve and my sis was up for tea and my dad came to put up some curtains for me, by then i was in bad pain but still ok to look at , i remember my dad turning away to do the curtains and id have to pull a face where the pain was so much, time cane for them to leave so i kissed them off at the door and hed to run to the loo where i just heard a pop and with that the blood poured out of me with big lumps of what looked like liver , my friend came to help me and called 999 where they rushed me to st georges hospital , i didnt know who to call or what to do in the end my sister was told and she told my mum, my mum only thought i was 6 weeks. My mum came to the hospital and was vrey supportive through the hole time , the doctors said thomas was breach and i had to give birth to him, he was born and had been dead inside me for a few days so he was very bruised but very perfect in every way , i spent some time alone with him for i said my goodbyes and then was taken up for a dnc where i had no one that nite as they made my mum leave , so when i woke from the dnc i was all alone in the middle of the night and worst of all they put me in a room and closed the door till the next morning , i do remember though in my darkess hours of my life my big nan came to me i didnt see her but knew she was there and told by meidums now that she was the one who came to take him over, god bless my big nan for this. we said our goodbyes to him 6 weeks later as they had to fing out why he died , no answer as couldnt find anything wrong?.
I saw the father after it all happened to show my pic of him, but he never sent a flower or card to me or thomas, i guess we never ment that much to him.
Now every year i go and see thomas and just sit to cacth a few moments with him , i know hes around me all the time and think of him as my own little angle sent to guard me, the years hav gone by so quick and only hope my pain will ease alittle less. god bless little tommy mummy will always love u.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ps ive added some photos of my family for thomas.